What is the difference between self-esteem and ego?

The self-esteem it is the opinion emotional that you have of yourself, and also how you value yourself and you qualify. This opinion comes from the belief that you will acquire throughout your life, most of what you perceive in the figures of authority —parents, grandparents, school teachers, etc— about who you are. If you say words that nourish you, you develop a good self-esteem; but if the way you give feedback is negative, pointing out only your flaws, your self-esteem will be low.

The manner in which you dealt with during childhood creates a habit and it influences how you talk to yourself in the day-to-day. If you use words that are derogatory or dating, this will influence the type of self-esteem you will have. It high it's a sign of well-being, as it allows you to be more understanding with yourself and accept you.

Then, if self-esteem is something that comes from within, the ego comes in from the outside, as need words of admiration, and the comparison with the other to compensate for the lack of emotion and internal dialogue positive. As it can be difficult to distinguish a good self-esteem of a ego high, then I'm going to share four ways to identify the difference between self-esteem and ego:

1. Admiration unrealistic

The first major difference is that a person with high self-esteem is aware of its virtues, as their defects. In contrast, one with an ego high has a lot of difficulty seeing them. A person does not integrate a version of herself that has two parts: qualities and defects. For example, Andrea has a vision that is super smart; each time it goes wrong in any task or test, blames it on the teacher or to his team-mates. As no grade is your fault, it never gets to study, and their results down to the point of being at-risk of failing. This makes you feel very silly, and the worse student. Integrate the idea of that even being a smart needs to study with dedication to their subjects is something that's hard to do because of your ego.

2. Your version of reality is the only

A person with high self-esteem is capable of understanding that other people have different perspectives and even contrary to his own. The ego is something fragile that feeds on the outside, so that other ways of seeing life is put in danger. This becomes evident in issues of tastes and beliefs. If Henry does not like the same films than Mario because “it will make them slow and boring”, it is not a criticism of Mario. But if this latter has the ego high, will defend to the hilt his movies, because he lives as a direct criticism of himself. The same thing happens with the beliefs: if a person believes something different to the other, both are equally valid. To be able to accept that there are different ways to correct and valuable to believe, perceive and feel allows you to distinguish the difference between self-esteem and ego.

Read also: Self-sabotage – Transform to break up the pattern 

3. Hierarchical view

People who have an ego high tend to think that they are above the others in one way or another. This can be in categories such as strength, physical appearance, intellectual ability, awareness, or any other. Need to feel superior to others to feed their ego from the outside. However, a person with high self-esteem understands that it is not superior to the other, just different, and you can hardly compare with someone else. Accommodate or be placed in a hierarchy with other people is something that is done from the ego.

4. Worry only by itself

A person with ego's high you need to be the center of attention of larger events, such as inter-personal relationships. Because of this, it tends to deny the needs of others, and if at any time it doesn't feel like the center of attention, you're angry. For example, when you tell them a problem to a person who has an ego high, you will minimize your problem and tell you something about yourself that you return the attention to it, whether that is your same problem, but “more difficult”, or some other topic where you be the center.

In contrast, a person with a high self-esteem is concerned for itself, but also for the problems of others. Listen carefully and know that it is important to give a place to the other and their needs in the relationship. For example, if someone with a high self-esteem is listening to the difficulties that someone else has, which she could easily solve, understand that for the other is complicated, and that's why he gives his place and help him empathically.  

Recognize the difference between self-esteem and the ego allows you to transform you with love. Build a good self-esteem makes a person more happy and with relationships nutrients. If you find that you need help to do this, remember that the Method Magui Block® it is a great support, because it gives you the tools and resources necessary to build a healthy self esteem.