Self-sabotage: transform to break up the pattern

The self-sabotage is an obstacle in your path to your goals and personal well-being. They can be actions, attitudes, or ways of acting/thinking of you away from your dreams and the personal satisfaction, making you feel out of your center and even uncomfortable. To understand the self-sabotage is the first step to overcome it.

What is self-sabotage?

It comes in many forms: procrastination, negative thinking, fear of failure or even success, etc It's like an internal program that is activated when you're about to achieve something significant, driving you to act in ways that will hurt.

Take the case of Mary. She is a professional, talented, however, it frequently rejects opportunities for the promotion, believing that it is not good enough. Despite their achievements, their fear of failure paralyses.

Where does the self-sabotage?

1. Limiting beliefs (past)

The self-sabotage often has its origin in beliefs formed in childhood or throughout the life. These beliefs act as filters that make you see yourself, your capabilities and the world in a particular way. But sometimes they can be limiting and give you a perspective that harms you more than it helps. For example, Elena grew up in an environment where you are valued humility extreme. Now you have difficulty to recognize their accomplishments, limiting their personal and professional growth.

2. Fear of change (future)

Even when the change is positive gives you fear and causes you to sabotage your own efforts. In the case of Ana, accustomed to his routine and environment, rejects opportunities to travel or change of employment, despite the fact that this could benefit your career and personal development. Many times, the future is uncertain, and uncertainty is scary.

3. Loyalties systemic (present and past)

It is everything that you do for the love of the family system that you belong to. Each system has its history and its rules. When you follow what is common in the family, you feel innocent and good; if not, you get guilt, and anxiety. By loyalty the system put aside your goals and you saboteas, all this in an unconscious way.

Read also: Steps to believing in yourself

Strategies to overcome self-sabotage

(a) Recognition and acceptance

The first step is to recognize and accept that you're sabotaging, and that's why you're not moving forward. This awareness is powerful and it is the beginning of change. Sometimes it is not necessary that you know all of the reasons or ways in which this happens, because just as you feel discomfort or dissatisfaction, or that you observe that you're not achieving objectives. This is a good starting point. From that recognition is easier than you begin to explore and identify the way in which you're autosaboteando. Thus, little by little you will go going more deep and desarmarás the pattern.

b) Confront the limiting beliefs

Once you have recognized the self-sabotage and the ways in which what you do, now you should question your beliefs. I share the following process:

• Ask yourself and write down the answers:“What I think, feel or think in relation to what I'm sabotaging?”. Write everything that comes to mind. They do not necessarily have to be things seemingly limiting; it is important that you first explore your beliefs without judgment. Ends the list.

• With each belief, ask yourself: “am I useful is this idea?, what helps me now to reach my goals or my well-being?”. As you progress with your list you will be able to identify some of the beliefs that we are helping you to achieve your goals and well-beingand even you'll recognize others you harm.

• Follow your instinct. If you have an unpleasant feeling to any idea, take note of this, even though I don't know how to express rationally why you don't like. For example, if the thought of traveling abroad is a symbol of success” it makes you feel uncomfortable, as they move forward with the exercise you may find that you're afraid to travel. It may also be that it is something that you currently don't want to do, but because of this belief you don't feel successful if you are not traveling. Write down these new ideas on your list and ask yourself the same questions. This will allow you to identify the beliefs that help you and that you are limited.

(c) Establish clear goals

Now, use all the information obtained in the examinations to overcome limiting beliefs and fears for the future. The first thing you should do is to break down the goals or situations of dissatisfaction, and steps to take to overcome them. You have to feel comfortable and able to achieve each one. If this is not the case, separate them into more easy-to-give. It does not matter that the steps may be small, what is crucial is that they are pointing in the right direction for you and take you to your goal. Identify what beliefs they will help and which could limit yourself to take that step. May not be the same ideas for every one, but at the end of this exercise you will be able to identify the limiting beliefs that most appear on the way of reaching your goals. These beliefs have a deeper cause and the more likely it is that you want to convert into a private session with a professional.

Remember that these exercises can help, but receiving support is a gift that you do. You are a being of light and you deserve to shine in all your potential. If at any time you feel you need support in this process, I'm here to give you professional help. The Method Magui Block® gives you the tools and support needed to overcome the self-sabotage.