Supera el duelo con ayuda de las constelaciones familiares

Grief is an experience that we all had, and, even so, is deeply personal. It is an emotional process complex that is fired after losing something significant in your life. Whether the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship or the closing of a life stage, the duel takes you to confront feelings of sadness, emptiness, and, at times, confusion.

This is not limited to the physical loss, as it also includes the farewell of a version of yours, for dreams are not made or of a stage of life that has come to its end. Come with me to explore some ways in which you can navigate with greater softness of this phase.

1. You acknowledge and agree

The first step in the grieving process is to recognize and accept the loss. Deny or avoid these feelings just prolongs your pain. Ok does not mean agreement or to feel good with the loss, but to recognise that has happened and that has had a significant impact on your life. Without this recognition, the duel can not start.

For example, Mariana has finished college, a big step in your life, and also represents the end of a significant stage. An exercise of family constellations that can serve you is to imagine standing in front of his university to express their gratitude and their cries, and then say goodbye with love. Once you have said what he kept in his inside, turns, looks toward her future —stage work— and what greets to welcome you.

2. Let yourself feel

The duel hurts, and comes with a great variety of emotions, from sadness and anger to guilt and relief. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judging them is essential. Each person experiences grief in their own way, and there is a "right" to feel it.

For example, at the funeral of her grandmother, Carla feels a lot of anger and don't know why. To see that other people are sad and they cry, angry with herself for not feeling well. This makes it enter a loop in which you are angry because yes. Accept the emotions it is very important to allow them to flow. A good exercise for Carla would be to imagine that your grandmother gives you permission to feel what you feel.

3. Closes the unfinished

When there is a loss, you can also feel that you lose the ability to close all those open items: those things that “had failed to do,” or “had failed to say.” It may be that you would have liked to thank him more that person or tell them something important. Close those issues would be of much help to move the emotions and the grief process. To do this, close your eyes and imagine the other person in front of you and tell you everything that you missed. You can also write him a letter. In the event that you are having a duel for something that is not a person —as a change of stage or work, do exactly the same thing, but imagining what that is and what you want to say.

4. Integrates the loss

Integrate the loss into your life doesn't mean to forget, or leave behind the person or the experience, but to find a way that is sustainable and healthy for to take with you. This implies that the loss has changed your view of the world and to yourself. Losing someone or something does not mean you get rid of everything it represents; you can take pictures, listen to music you had recommended, continue to enjoy the series that saw together, etc, There are things that can go rescuing his due time. Above all, stay with you the experiences, the memories, and learning.

An action that is suggested in the family constellations is that I represent something symbolic that is close to your heart as a pendant.

5. Creates new meanings

Part of the drop includes creating new meanings for your loss. These can be valuable lessons or involve new ways of honor the memory of a loved one.

In the case of Carla, she used to work with his grandmother; it was an activity they both enjoyed a lot to do together. Shortly after the funeral, work became something that it generated pain because it reminded her of her grandmother, so I left him for a time. As she was closing open items, integrating the loss and moving their emotions, Carla were encouraged to work again as a way to honor and remember good times with your grandmother.

The grief is not so much drop it like to grow and learn. Each experience of loss teaches you something about yourself, life and the nature of your relationships. Duels can be very uncomfortable, but remember that there are passengers, and travel. Almost everything in life comes and goes: places, people, stages, activities, etc, and many times or you are aware of it. This reflects how well the people we can bring the duels. If you feel stuck in one, and you need help, remember that Method Magui Block® it is a great support to accompany you in this process.