Putting effective limits to do what you want and feel good

Is it hard for you to set limits? This has to do with what your life story has been.

It is important to detect the size of your problem: how much will it cost to put limits?; what normalizas what is abnormal?; do you accept what is unacceptable?; do you tolerate the intolerable?

If your answer is yes to all, or almost all, it is very likely that from an early age you have been aware of the needs of others and not what you want them to do; therefore, this is the dynamic that you've learned.

Identify what you really want and take care of your needs.

It is important that you know what your needs arebecause these show you what is in your essence and your heart.

• Take care of your “I want”, to take off all the masks and everything that you are not.
• Put limits, express your opinions freely and be aware of what the others want, but without forgetting you, doing what you want.

Many times setting boundaries doesn't feel as simple, so it is necessary to take action to ensure that you comply with, otherwise you'll find yourself repeating the same pattern over and over again, and your needs will continue running in the background.

If what you want is to get others to respect your terms, I will explain three actions that you must perform to set effective limits and to achieve what you want.

You can set limits and feel good with you and with others!

Three actions to put limits affective

1. Sets the limit that you want

For example: your partner tells phrases affectionate as "my love", "my life" or "love"; or that of your children to order their room; or that your customers will pay on time.

Set out clearly what your limits. To do this, I recommend that the scribes.

2. Set the consequences

What will happen if that person does not, or transfer your limits?

For example: if your children don't order your room, if your partner does not speaks to you affectionately, or if your customers don't pay on time, what will you do?

It is very important that the result depends on you and not thembecause if not, you lose your power and you're not going to achieve to take it out.

One consequence would be that, if your children do not order your room, then you do not kitchens. This depends on you. I know that sounds dramatic, but you can adapt it depending on your age. If your children are teenagers, this is a good result.

The consequences should be logical. In this case, if each person is allotted tasks in the house for everything to work well, and they do not meet them, then you don't do yours, and this is a consequence quite logical.

But remember: not always there to be hurt; you can make things fun.

Read also: How to combat destructive behaviors to do only what benefits you

3. Be consistent

This means doing the same thing always, what that will allow you to send a message strong and solid to the people that surround you. So, your limits will be respected.

If sometimes they do and sometimes not, people are not going to believe more. It is very important that you send a clear message that the people will respond well.

In conclusion, you set the rule and the consequence, and cúmplelas consistently. This way you'll be able to leave your clear boundaries so that they are always respected.

Remember that the last step is essential for this to work.

Put effective limits is an important step for your well-being; you have taken a great step.